Make or break.

Help me and Tawn get married.

I chanced upon this blog post one day, thinking how can anyone help with marriage? Then I realized that Tawn and Chris are a gay couple who might be affected by the outcome of a campaign known as Proposition 8.

"Here's how you can help me and Tawn:

Contact the people you know in California - let them know about me and Tawn and that if Proposition 8 passes, we'll be unable to marry in December. Ask them to vote no on the proposition and to talk with their friends, family and fellow citizens, too.

If you are a Californian, talk to people who think differently from you - it is easy to "preach to the choir" but the ones who need to hear form you are the undecided voters, the ones for whom a personal story will make all the difference. Studies have shown that personalizing the issues makes people more supportive of equal rights.

If you are a registered voter in California, remember to vote - right now the proposition is slightly ahead in voter support. To defeat it, we will need ever supporter who is registered to vote to actually get out to the polls. Your vote will count!

Consider contributing to the "No on 8" campaign - They are being outspent by 2-to-1 by donations from outside the state, 30% of which have come from the Mormon Church. I have already made a donation and hope you will join me. Even if you donate just $10, you will help buy valuable television airtime so our side of the debate can be heard. Click here to donate at Equality California's secure website."

Upon reading his post and the various ways to help them, donating to their cause was one option. Chris said that he has made a donation himself, and went on to say why it mattered. Here comes the shocker. The more donations each group has, the more media time they will receive. I never knew that people had to ‘pay’ for media like these. It truly highlights the fact that the rich and powerful are the ones steering the direction of the media. Because the media holds a limited, but still powerful degree of influence, it tends to shape public opinion. It has the power to shape the opinions of the neutral group, as their vote can make or break the entire campaign.

This is media hegemony in place, where the group with less financial power will be silenced. It is exactly why Chris appealed for more help, as he wanted the minority to have a say in the debate. He wanted people to hear, what the minority had to say. Likewise, the lack of coverage on any side would result in voters being skewed to the party that has been mentioned more in the media. This results in priming, which leads to greater awareness of one party over the other, which is rather unfair. It is especially so when only one side of the story is heard, which is made even worse if the message is biased.

Aside from that, Chris has actually mentioned media determinism in his post. He urges Californians to talk to those with a different view. Just like Marshall McLuhan, Chris believes that the medium in which the message is sent makes a whole lot of difference. In fact, Marshall McLuhan believes that "the Medium is the Message". And it is true that the medium makes a whole lot of difference. Chris stands by this concept by asking others to share a personal story. This medium would be much more personal as compared to ads on television, or even an article in the papers. Because afterall, face to face communication is the richest medium that is available.

On another note, my initial intention wasn't to do a post on Chris and Tawn. Instead, I was contemplating of doing something closer to home.. perhaps in reference to this. And this. But I was too much of a chicken. I am the perfect example of the spiral of silence! It states that people have the tendency to refrain from expressing unpopular ideas or views. It is true, I am refraining because I am afraid. Even our own newspapers are not supporting this particular view, there is an utter lack of coverage for the other party. They are working together with majority of the public opinion, effectively silencing the minority, who have thus turned to mediums with more freedom. Likewise, people like Chris have also turned to the internet as it is very effective media channel, and much less restricted than the traditional forms.

Do you think that things would be different if it wasn't for new media channels such as the internet? Well, I certainly do.

We all have differences.

A friend once told a group of us this true story that happened in Europe. As she told us what happened, she also mentioned that she wanted us to guess what was going on.

Before I start, be forewarned that some of the following images may be deemed offending.

It starts about a man who was refused entry onto a crowded bus. Undeterred, he ran to the front of the bus and stopped it effectively, then going on to show the bus driver his pinky. Like this:

Prick

Some of you may recognize this sign, it's otherwise known as the 'Prick'. Intended for males, the meaning behind it is as literal as can be.

Continuing with the story, the driver then responded to the man with a gesture like the one below.

Because this is a PG-13 blog, I shan't state the name of this gesture. An excerpt regarding it is as follows;

"This is a two handed gesture and involves first making a hollow fist from one hand and the slapping the open palm of the other over the hole several times. Not only is this very graphic - it makes a satisfyingly insulting and remarkably accurate sound too." [Source]

At this point of the story-telling, my friends started dropping comments like,

"How can the driver be so rude?!" (Afterall he is a public servant, customer service is the way to go!)

"Are you serious?"

And some others just went "OMG OMG OMG". Seriously.

After the driver's unfriendly response (he still firmly refused to open the door), the man then flashed him another sign. His right hand in the sign of a 'Prick', he stuck his last finger into his left hand, which was formed into a loosely-clenched fist. Lo and behold! The driver proceeded to open the door and let the man up. And that was the end of it, an unexpected happy ending.

A surprise to us all, everyone who was listening responded with a confused "Huh?" And there we were, all thinking how blatant the Europeans were in insulting each other.

My friend then decided to share with us what really went on instead. It turns out that when the man first flashed his pinky, what he meant was "Could you please let one more person up?"

The driver's response actually indicated a "I'm sorry, but my bus is packed to the brim."

The man then replied with his last gesture, "I know it's packed, but it is possible to squeeze more person on board!" And that was why the door was opened to him.

At that point, understanding dawned on us all. I guess this shows how people in different cultures take to things differently. Most of us had a negative view on whatever that happening between the two, believing that both were throwing rude gestures back and forth. This is so as the culture that we grew up in has programmed us to think that such hand signs can only have rude connotations. We have been brought up to think that way by our parents, and them by our grandparents. Us kids would receive a stern lecture or a whack on the head by our parents if we were to display such signs. It is because cultural norms have already dictated what we can, or cannot do. And in the case of Singaporeans, flipping the bird and all similar signs are deeply frowned upon.

Aside from that, I believe that Singapore has a low context culture whereas Europe has high context cultures instead. The main reason being that low context cultures focus more on appearances and visual cues etc rather than the core message itself. High context cultures on the other hand, places its emphasis on the message itself rather than the way it is transmitted. In this instance, people who grew up in Asian countries would view the signs as vulgar, offending, and probably wouldn't derive any other meanings. However, when this happened somewhere else, a European country, people delved into the deeper meanings and messages that the hand signs contained instead. It shows how important packaging plays as a part in low context cultures, for we would never, ever, think to use such signs to convey similar messages.

I daresay that we would never be able to pull off the same stunt here in Singapore, bus drivers would probably be stunned. Those who react fast enough may just proceed to run us over. Culture shock I say!

Now then, what other vast differences have you come across in different cultures? So much so that the same actions would mean another thing in a different place? On another random note, do you think that there's a connection between geographical boundaries and high/low cultural contexts?

Allswell that ends well?

Allswell Chestnut drink!

This TVC has been circulating our screens for the past few months, and created quite a furore if I'd say so myself. Alright, maybe not. But still, it was talked about to the point that it was covered in the newspaper. I mean, what were your thoughts when you first saw it? Did you think it was sweet? Or just plain cheesy? This ad has been lambasted from all sides by Singaporeans old and young. Said to be too cheesy, mushy and distasteful, many felt that this ad was a waste of resources. Most found it a cheap production mostly because of the way the actors were speaking. Filmed entirely in Singlish ("No I want my teh peng!"), some people were turned off by it. Repulsed, actually. In fact, a friend told me that she swore off chestnut drinks after watching the ad. And no, I'm not lying.

What do you think, is the cause of such a negative response from viewers?

In my opinion, I attribute the main cause to the dialogue and language used. Singlish. Ahh, it's a love-hate relationship. It's what Singaporeans are known for, but we hate being known for it (despite our daily intensive usage). Singlish is this big exclusionary language that nobody understands except for people on this island and the ones near it. And language, is power.

Some foreigners who come to Singapore might look down on Singlish like it's part of pidgin language. Or, some locals tend to think that those with poor English are of a lower class. There is a perception that an increased fluency in English would mean that the person is highly educated, well groomed and therefore likely to be successful. Because of past experiences that eloquence has the ability to elevate one's status (just take a look at our leaders), we associate english with high social status. Just like how some atas soul would hold her snotty nose high up in the air with regards to an ah beng. Yes I'm stereotyping, but it's true! Why do I say that language is power? Well, people with a good command of english often use it to their advantage to impress, and to intimidate. Just how often is a salesgirl made speechless when she is thrown a barrage of terms that she doesn't understand? Back to Allswell, viewers probably had the perception that it's badly scripted as compared to other ads whereby the dialogues are catered more to an international crowd. And that's probably because it has to befit the overall brand image that it has in the world.

Locals are absolutely ashamed to be portrayed in the light that Allswell has shone on all of us. But if you think about it, that's how Singaporeans speak. Hop on the bus or a train; you'll hear that kind of dialogue anywhere. Why is it then that this ad generated disgust? Are we being hypocritical? Or perhaps, it's a case of self serving bias where we judge ourselves more tolerantly?

Are we in denial?

But whatever it is, Allswell actually saw a ten percent increase in sales despite the negative responses. I stick by my mantra that bad publicity is better than no publicity. At least there's awareness.

On another note..

I wouldn't say that the Allswell commercial's a great ad, but it's not exactly the worst either. (In fact the holder of that title belongs to a KOKA ad a few years back, up till now I've never patronized them.) Yes the ad may be disgustingly mushy and all, but you've got to say that it's kind of sweet. Kind of.

And just for the haters, what's that one thing that you detest most about the ad?

A formula to moot

Well I don't know about your weekend, but mine was definitely filled with thrills.

For the smart people out there who guessed from the title, yes I'm referring to the Singapore Grand Prix. The spotlight however, will be not placed on Alonso (the winner), but the Ferrari team instead. I guess those who read the news or watched the race would know what I'm about to say next.

Yep, it's about Massa and his fuel hose.

To enlighten those in the dark, Massa was given the green light to move while a fuel hose was still attached to his car. He then sped off, and promptly knocked over a pit crew member who was eventually stretchered away. The rest literally ran after him before he realised what was going on. I must admit that it was a funny (albeit painful) sight to behold. Grown men running after a car with a hose sticking out? Fodder for comedy, I say.

[Credit]

It is a great pity though, that this mistake later led to a penalty which eventually resulted in Massa's heavily demoted placing. And all this happened just because another pit member gave the go-ahead prematurely. However, it was Massa's response after the race which caught my attention.

"We could have finished first and second and it could have been different," he said as he slipped seven points behind Hamilton in the drivers' standings with three races left after the Briton finished third.
"It is hard to deal with losing in this fashion a race that was within our grasp with a car that was just the way I wanted it.
"But things can change in a moment and that's what happened today.
"We are all human beings, everyone makes mistakes. I am not the sort of person who goes to a guy and fights with him.
"So I went to the guy and gave him even more motivation because we need him and we need everybody together for the last three races of the season." [source]

With the article aptly named "Formula One: Massa refused to blame crew for pit disaster", I say with certainty that Massa's magnanimity has earned my respect. Not only is he the initiator-contributor whom the team depends heavily on for results, Felipe Massa turned out to be an encourager as well! Knowing that the responsible pit member was well, in the pits, Massa went to cheer him on. I find it extremely commendable to have a member like Massa, where most others in the same situation would complain instead. And like he mentioned, he needed the guy and they needed the team to be together for the rest of the season. It shows how each member in the group has a certain role to play, such that the lacklustre performance of one would have an adverse effect on the rest. Group synergy plays a crucial role in F1 races as the time spent in pit stops could make or break the entire race. Synergy is when everyone in the team works together cohesively, such that the task is accomplished in the shortest time possible. When such teamwork is in play, only 6 to 12 seconds are needed for refuelling.

And as we all know, every second (or millisecond, in this instance) counts.


Cheers, Team Ferrari!

Speechless.

Have you ever sat through a conversation where no words were said?

Incredulous as it sounds, I believe that all of us have experienced it at one point or another. Take for instance, the dagger-like stares your mother gives when you walk in the door late. You probably might have responded with a sheepish smile.

Such instances like the one above are often short moments that complement verbal conversation (think: the reprimand that comes after). Thus, I find silent films and their ability to perfectly convey messages, rather fascinating.

In fact, I've taken quite a liking to the one below.

I especially like the whole backwards motion way of filming. It further highlights the difference of the couple. Of course, when the male first appeared, he was frowning. It shows how unhappy he was, the feeling of resignation further compounded by his slow gait. Also if you had noticed, the music started changing around the time that he laid his eyes on the female lead. His pause, and the intensity of his stare tells us that something has changed along with the music. As cheesy as it sounds, you start to feel.. hope. You could so tell that from then on, things would start on a happy note.

Another aspect that appealed to me was how each little action contributed to the allure of the film. Take for instance, his moment of confusion as the female lead slurped up her drink. Adding on to the intricacies was the slight tilt of his head and the hesitant step (literally) that he took to affirm his thoughts. I find it cute that he deliberated for a moment as he moved forward, seeking approval from the female lead and hoping that he did the right thing.

One very telling factor in the development of relations between the two would be the proxemics involved. From being a face in a crowd at a public distance to dancing together in an intimate distance, it shows how comfortable they are in sharing personal space.

Anyhow, did you realise the effect that music had in the film? I felt that the music was there for added emphasis, as it chronicled the significant events of the couple's relationship. Such as how it was slow at the start, and became more uplifting during the couple's interaction with each other. The music also added on to the despair felt when the female lead disappeared. In the end though, it veered towards a direction that was more fairy tale-like. In fact, it sounded a little like something from Disney. Well, to me at least. We may not notice it, but adding the right sounds and tunes to films bring it to a new level. Can you imagine a horror film without its suspense building music?

G'day mate!

Talking plays an integral part in my line of work.

Dealing with customer service, the people I meet mostly consist of tourists and perhaps the odd local along the way. Aside from talking my lungs out, my other main duty would be to prepare tickets for my customers. Part of the process includes the recording of the customer's name as well as the country that he/she is from. I've spoken to many people of different nationalities that I daresay I'm able to emulate a few of them accents now. My favourites would be tourists from countries where English is the main language. Oh they'd be easy to understand, no problem there. I would worry more about tourists from other Asian countries (e.g. South Korea).

It is therefore easy to understand that I was perfectly comfortable and at ease when serving this family from Australia. All was fine until I asked the lady what her name was. She started spelling it out for me as I typed it into the system, while she continued to look on through the glass panel.

"... and it's an 'a'.."

And as I typed 'a', she shook her head and said "No. An 'a' comes next!" I calmly told her that it was an 'a'.

"No, that's an 'i'." So she says.

Thinking I made a mistake, I changed the 'a' to an 'i'. Still she was persistent that I've typed her name wrongly. Thinking that she mistook it for a another similar looking alphabet due to the reflection of the screen, I told her that it was an 'i'. Still, she disagreed.

And there you have it, my first time having some difficulty understanding an english speaking customer.

Trying to get her name spelled right probably took up an entire five minutes. Totally bewildered and fumbling at this point, she finally wrote our her name for me. Realisation hit me at once. When she said 'a', she actually meant 'e'. And when she said 'i', she actually meant 'a'. It all boils down to the accent.

From this, you could see that there was still a miscommunication despite us both being English speakers. We didn't have to use jargon or any slang to get misunderstood. In fact, neither of us felt that we were pronouncing anything wrongly as well. We just pronounce it according to how we hear it. It just so happens that Singaporeans and Australians pronounce those alphabets differently. I would have made a mistake if this exchange happened over the phone instead of a face-to-face meeting. Again, this highlights how the transactional model would be the best for effective communication as it takes place instantaneously on both sides. Thus, it eliminates more chances of miscommunication. It also shows us the vital role verbal communication plays in mutual understanding. Through this, I've learnt first hand the amount of influence that an accent has on a verbal exchange. What impact do you think an accent has on effective communication?

Some may find certain accents appealing, like how most females swoon at a British accent. But do you reckon students find it as appealing if lecturers were to teach with a thick, heavy accent?

Transcending barriers.

How would you feel, if you were perpetually stared at and murmurs followed you like a shadow? Having done nothing wrong, except to dress and behave the way you feel. Is it unacceptable?

That is the question that runs through many transsexuals' minds.

Offering a deeper insight on the transsexual community, The Straits Times has presented a special report on the topic.

A DEGREE from Curtin University, Western Australia, and a regional management position in a large logistics organisation.

While laudable, Juliet's achievements are not likely to make most people sit up and take notice.
Until, of course, the 40-year-old tells them she is a transsexual.

'When you say transsexual, a lot of people immediately think of Changi Village and Desker Road,' she says, referring to two of Singapore's most notorious vice haunts.

'People harbour so many stereotypes. Not all of us are prostitutes. In fact, a lot of us lead and want to lead very normal lives,' says the articulate professional whose company and colleagues know of her status.
Transsexuals - people who do not identify with the gender they are born in and sometimes change their bodies through surgery or hormone therapy - in Singapore have Bugis Street to blame for this albatross hanging around their necks. The stereotype still dogs Juliet and members of her community, although many hold down respectable jobs in law firms, engineering companies and government departments.

They live with many other tags, including widely held beliefs that they are mentally sick and sexually deviant.

Make-up artist Lynette Leong aka Ginger, in her 30s, says the community has to put up with many derogatory names, including ah kwa and bapok.

The Singapore Polytechnic graduate, who has a diploma in mechanical engineering, says: 'Even the Chinese newspapers describe us as ren yao (human monsters). How can society accept us when they perpetuate this nonsense?'

Ignorance surrounding the condition is one of the main reasons why transsexualism is a taboo subject in Singapore society. Dr Tsoi, 75, who has counselled more than 700 transsexuals over three decades, says many people do not know that transsexualism is a medical condition, not a sexual perversion. .....
[Source]


Singapore has changed in many ways since the early 1900s, but yet one thing remains the same. Rampant with negative preconceptions, the social stigma associated with the transsexual community stays unchanged. The Straits Times article had a sobering effect, in which the other side of the coin was finally displayed to the public. It debunked the original impressions most had that were strongly influenced by societal norms.

A transsexual is thought to be an anomaly in the society, a cross between the two genders. They are different from the general notion of how a male or female should be. As people prefer to communicate with like-minded individuals, transsexuals are often repelled because they are different. It is especially so as we have all been engineered to stick with our perception of what's normal, and a preference for staying in our comfort zone.

Hardly do we find ambivalence in the opinions that are placed towards this particular group of people. More often than not, intense feelings of repulsion or general dread would be found instead. But what basis is there to be feeling this way?

Perception is something very subjective. In this case, the perception of today's transsexual community is attributed partly to miscommunication. Perceptual bias is also formed according to Bacon's Four Idols.

Follwing Bacon, individuals form different impressions due to the Four Idols - Idols of the Cave, Idols of the Tribe, Idols of the Marketplace and Idols of the Theatre. In this scenario, I believe it to be a combination of media portrayal, the pressure to be coherent with societal views and one's upbringing as well as religious beliefs.

People form impressions based on what they see. Unfortunately, we do not see a lot. And when we do, it would be through media channels such as television and newspapers which are most often skewed towards a certain degree of biasness. Most television programmes and newspapers would refrain from putting transsexuals in a light that differs from the public view. They refrain from controversy and public outrage. On the contrary, they only serve to ingrain and fuel the negative public perception of transsexuals through stereotypical roles in dramas and such. Another instance would be the use of derogatory terms to describe transsexuals. ''Even the Chinese newspapers describe us as ren yao (human monsters). How can society accept us when they perpetuate this nonsense?'' This would be a case where perceptual bias was formed through Idols of the Tribe. The origin of influence would be the mass media. On another note, do you think it to be ethically right for a journalist to use such culturally insensitive terms?

Blatantly put, the first thought that comes to our minds with regards to transsexuals would be "Changi Village", or terms such as "Ah Kwa". It has become second nature to us as these were the terms that we grew up with. Our impressions are also formed only by what we see. It does not help that the most prominent sightings of transsexuals would be in Changi Village, where they solicit for customers. They are also frequently seen in the shopping district, but that fact is disregarded due to human's penchant for jumping to conclusions. "People harbour so many stereotypes. Not all of us are prostitutes. In fact, a lot of us lead and want to lead very normal lives". This refers back to Bacon's Idol of the Cave where it is human nature to jump to conclusions and assume.

We all like to frame what we see in the context that we like it to be. Humans crave for reassurance, and for proof that substantiates their school of thought. Thus, we tend to distort facts into a subjective opinion based on our own experiences and beliefs. And because the main impression of transsexuals would be prostitutes in Changi Village, we chose to go with that perception. Other options are disregarded because it would not fit into the system of thoughts that we have been brought up with.

Additionally, the basic social want for humans would be to fit in. People want to be well integrated in the society, refraining from being too different for the fear of being outcasted. As the general consensus towards transsexuals are of a negative nature, most just follow blindly without questioning why.

"Why?" You may ask.
"Because it's normal." One replies.

From this we see Bacon's Idol of the Theatre, where trends are followed without any questions asked. There is a tendency to follow the majority, for humans favour the phrase "safety in numbers". Therefore, "widely held beliefs that they are mentally sick and sexually deviant" are not questioned and simply accepted without a doubt.

Just because it feels socially right. Just because it is what everyone else is doing. And just because, it is normal.

However, our own personal upbringing also plays a part in the misconception of transsexuals and such. Bacon's Idols of the Tribe states that perceptual bias is formed partly due to our upbringing, individual experiences and beliefs. Those born to a traditional Asian household may have a stronger aversion as opposed to those brought up in a more liberal environment. Homosexuality in general is taboo in the Asian culture. Because of strong traditions and conservative views, many of the older generation are strongly opposed to effeminancy because it goes against the behaviours and roles that are laid out for a male. Perhaps it is due to the inflexibility of the Asian culture, where it is hard to accept change. The emasculation of a male is a an extremely big change to the Asian's belief of how men should be. Especially so in Asian cultures, where men assume the roles of leaders and providers while women stay at home and display characteristics deemed as feminine (i.e. looking after the house, raising children). Would you have thought differently if you were brought up in Europe, or Thailand for that matter instead?

Again, disparate ideas are also formed based on the varying levels of exposure that one receives. An individual would be more receptive to transsexualism if he/she was already acquainted with the idea of homosexuality. Likewise, people who have transsexual friends would be less averse as well. Take for instance people from single sex instituitions, where they have already been exposed and used to the concepts of homosexuality. Conversely, it is those who are strangers to the world of transsexualism that make quick judgement. In my opinion, I agree with Dr Tsoi in the article that ignorance is the cause of it all. People who know nothing would jump to conclusions because they have no basis to build their opinions on. Hence, they lean towards the external view that others have in forming their own perceptions. Sadly, most others are equally ignorant as well. It could be termed as the blind leading the blind.

I empathize with those who chose this path. It isn't an easy journey, what with the widespread misconception and criticism that they have faced. If you think about it, their core needs and wants are exactly the same as the rest of us. Like other humans, they crave for acceptance and thrive on emotions.

Is it unacceptable to want to be who you really are?

And is it really wrong, to be different?